poem of the day:

Cold

Oh so cold,
Snow,
Falling furiously,
Outside.
If you were only here,
You'd sit with me,
Drinking cups of coffee,
Wasting the day away.
Our chat,
So esoteric,
So "us",
So unique.
But you're not here,
Who are you?
Where are you?
I'm cold,
Both inside,
and outside,
Oh so cold.

Tim'04

I'd like to fall in love;pure,unadulterated love.One day.I'm so drunk that everything seems possible,even this belief that I can fall in love one day.I don't know about the future,I don't about tomorrow...but anything is possible.mon the dreaming!,all of it.
I love my friends,my family but I've yet to fall in love completely and totally.....I have a feeling that it might happen sometime this year.maybe not.

Last night I learnt once again that vodka shots do not a sober man make.Plus,vino and vodka red bull and gin and tonics all add up to one messy monkey.Also,adding some green to the mix doesn't help matters.No wonder I awoke with a headache the size of china.It seems to have stayed with me most of today,only the caffeine is keeping me together.Thank god above for caffeine.

Was thinking about a blog entry my boy,jon fong, wrote some time back.The one about how folk in friendster describe themselves as "fun-loving" and how it's just so stupidly obvious,cos if u don't enjoy having fun,then u're probably one of the wee minority who needs a head check.What he wrote made sense.But here's my fantastic(yes,it is!) idea: we should have a 'platform',if u will, for people to meet each other but we'll call it "the REAL Friendster."...in "the real friendster",people have to try to be as honest as possible.I shall explain: Under the section titled "about me(how I really am): people have to describe themselves,warts and all. So,in my case,if I(remember,this is just an example....snigger) was filling out said section,I'd say something like: "I have very bad sleeping habits,I have a tendency to drink like it's going out of style,I can be annoying when I want to,I tend to overdo things,I...." Right,I best stop here before I give too much away....oh no,I forgot,this is just an example,it isn't me!...Those who know otherwise are advised to shut the hell up!*grin*

Don't know if I'm becoming more impressionable but every book I read seems to be brilliant.The last book I finished was amazing and so was the one before that.I'm either getting very easy to please or my taste is just pure good,mon!
Oh,it's late,I should be in bed but my laundry is taking forever to dry...oh sob,how nice to not have to wake up early tomorrow.oh joy!

it's done.i have survived.i am the man indeed.apart from that,still too shattered to actually write anything of literary value.the only reason i'm still awake is cos my bloody laundry is taking its time in the tumble dryer.
anyhow,poem for the day,written whilst sat in the library(last night),mugging and looking at girls simultaneously:

The Look

Why do you look at me so?
What sorts of reactions are you trying to inspire?
My face gives me away, no?
Is it because you caught me looking at you?

I can't help the fact that you're beautiful.

Tim'04

i think i've forgotten how to have fun.i'm going mad.people in the library all resemble creatures of some sort or other.today,whilst doing my exam,the lights(and shadows) played games with my eyes.it's all going crazy.still,this time tomorrow,i'll let myself give in to the madness.

stress-levels have reached 110%,50 quid,333 shots...
whatever,i'm too tired to make sense.

Last night,I indulged in some introspective insomnia and realized that there is a lot about me which needs changing.I'm slowly working towards it but expect "tim version20.04" to reach all good departmental stores in a matter of months,possibly june,when I return to the sunny isle to unleash peace.The new and improved version is still in the pipeline but he should ideally be heavier,more chilled-out,less full of himself and happier.*disclaimer: batteries and accessories not included*
In the mean time,the present tim remains stressed,tired and unhealthy.He needs your vote of confidence though,don't give up bboys and bi-girls!*snigger*

have spent about 5 hours working today,more to come.am about to explode.maybe it's because i've just single-handedly finished a packet of sour sweets and a bottle of vanilla coke....maybe it's cos i'm overworked.I don't know,i'm just trying hard not to explode.out.

My brain feels like mush and my body like a piece of driftwood...i am knackered,and the day has only just begun...the only thing which keeps me going is the thought of next wednesday and the fact that these exams are actually important!!*sob*

Been reading my signed copy of "PORNO" by Irvine Welsh,it is going pretty well.It's good to know that my favourite boys from edinburgh aka the trainspotting crew are doing well and still messed up...ahhh..i cannae wait for the movie to be released!!
Apart from that,not very much in the way of exciting to report.I am fairly drained from my exhaustive day in the library,another week plus of this madness and it's hello pub,goodbye books!Till the next entry,all of you keep eating those vegetables.

oh no,maybe i'm not that stupid after all.just impatient.when i checked back,the repeated post had mysteriously vanished.HOORAY!....erm,moral of the story is,MON THE F**KING DONKEY!
aye,better stop before this turns into a boring blog of epic proportions.Am I messing with ur head yet?

i have blatantly fallen into the pit of stupidity.As u can tell,the previous post was posted twice(if u look carefully,there are minor differences)...i cannot seem to be able to get rid of one of them and i cannot be arsed to try too hard..i need to save whatever little brain cells i have for my upcoming examinations.so,i apologise once again if reading the same(almost) thing twice annoys u.I know it does me..which is one of the many reasons for my immense hatred for the telly-f**kin-tubbies....i don't understand why they repeat everything twice...if somebody can shed light on the matter,i would be indebted to them as it would save me many sleepless nights(possibly a lie)....

we didn't have a funeral service for pinky the gecko.Instead,my flat mate(i shan't say who) has decided that once dried out,pinky will be cooler than he was alive...so,he's out drying in the cold,scottish air.That is,till the seagulls come to claim him.The mourning goes on.
Having finished the essay at a most unearthly time,i found myself drained physically and mentally.Coupled with the untimely death of pinky,the past week has proven to be a most trying experience...however,i have survived.I get by with a little help from my friends and all the rest.
Today,I went to the fishmongers for the first time.I was pleasantly surprised to find them selling "salmon fettucinne(spelling?)"...one day,when I have money,i shall return to buy said product.goodness,i just realized how boring this sounds....sorry,i must apologize.i seem to have lost the ability to be interesting.next entry,get ready to read about the nocturnal lives of midgets and mice.....

done,3091 words later.I am completely spent.i will return when i have rested.it's off to the land of nod.bye.

Today, Pinky the gecko passed away.And,with him,a part of me died as well. Tomorrow,weather permitting,we'll be holding a funeral service for him on the beach.For those not in the know,pinky was one of 2 geckos belonging to a mate which I had to look after(the geckos,not the mate) the past few weeks. It's funny but I never thought I'd be sad to see a reptile die....looks like this man has a heart after all,eh?
Anyhow,have to stop procrastinating and get down to this damn essay.I'll be back in 3000 words.wish me luck and stamina.I am going to need every bit of it.
And for the bloke who liked my wee poem,"identity",cheers and a pint to you.I'm glad you liked it.I didn't realize that ppl out there(besides u,sam sculley,u crazy/beautiful friend of mine!) were reading this here blog of mine.it brings a tear to my eye and a general sense of paranoia to my fragile mind.

Today,as always,the awareness that I'm old,weak and possibly past my peak struck me.It is surely not the best thing to feel when u're in the midst of trying to beast an essay due in 2 days.I am going to have to depend on my powers of stamina to get me thru to the end of the week.Did I mention that redbull,irn bru,coca-cola,coffee and all other forms of caffeine are going to be consumed in large quantities too?Man,I am the original CAFFIEND(an amalgamation of the words caffeine and fiend for those too blind to see)....
On a different note,I received a "friendster request" today from an indian model who resides in the phillipines.I cannot help but feel that this is a cruel joke of sorts.Possibly because I am never ever going to meet her in this lifetime.Unless I get my ass to said country of course.Then again,it was a welcome change from the usual requests I get from ahlians(for those who don't know,an ahlian is the singaporean equivalent of a senga,essex girl type thing) and camp SE-Asian men. In other words,MON THE MODELS!!
To the girl in question,if u're reading this,I'm still considering making u my "friendster".After all,I haven't been to the phillipines yet and this may be my reason to go......gawd,I sound so desperate and sad...which,in hindsight,could be the sad truth.....NOOoooooooo!

So,it's been some time since last I blogged.Well,a Happy NuYear to one and all.
I had a wicked time but I shan't elaborate cos,well,that's so last year...nah,it would take a long time which I just haven't got right now.The internet is down in my flat and I'm feeling a bit down as well,but that's to be expected is it not?What with having an amazing time,there has to be a balancing force,eh?But,I have high hopes for 2004.I can feel it.If I only just stick to my resolutions(which I shan't publish for fear of jinxing myself...nae,that is pure bollocks,I just don't feel like putting it down,it makes me scared),I should come back to S'pore in the summer looking 100%....well,only time will tell...so,here's to a great year.To me and to you.Nice one.Aye.