I've survived the essay all-nighter yet again. Monday into Tuesday morning was pure torture. Found myself in the library on Monday at 12pm. Left the library proper at 9.45pm (of course,i left every now and then to get food and the like). Went to The Lizard (Lounge) at half 10 to catch Sara and Sean and the rest of the band play.....left at midnight. Sat,making an essay plan. Started the essay at 2am. Finished the essay,at half8 in the morn. There were times when I sat in the dark,trying to think.Trying not to burst into tears. Asking myself (as I do everytime I pull this stunt) why I put myself thru such torture.....My brain wasn't working like it should. I suspect it still isn't...anyhow,carrying on....I went to my 9am class...sat there WIRED....too much caffeine,nicotine,sugar....believe me,I was crashing strongly...started thinking that everybody was staring at me....esp,the lecturer....started seeing little flashes of light....anyhow,to cut this long and boring story short, I caught a wee 3.5 hr nap in the afternoon and stayed up till 2am this morning watching some very strange movies. The first one, "Spun", was exactly what I shouldn't have watched....the protagonist, a "speed freak", stays up for days....filling his head with that evil white powder...the camera work was crazy with jerky,little movements ever so often to make it feel like you were him....feel like him,I did...I thought I was going to be sick a few times during the show. After that, I thought I'd watch something "normal"...so,I sat thru 2 hours of "Carnages", a "Critically-Acclaimed"(according to the cover of the DVD box...of course they'd do so,wouldn't they?...come to think of it,I should have been a bit more discerning) French movie..... anyhow,it was a strange,strange movie....I can't quite put into words how disturbing some of the characters in the fillm were...they seemed normal initially but were really,f**king weird for lack of a better description...ohmyhead.....no more film chat from me...I have so much stuff to do today...I went for a lovely lunch with Bec today.It was my belated birthday present to her...we sat there, talking about how things are coming to a swift end here in St Andrews and how it just seems so strange to think that, this is it. It really is it....who knows what we'll all be doing this time next yr?
Right,I've bored you guys enough. Here is a poem written in the library on monday when I should have been reading instead:

Poem of the Day:

Your Words


Held me down,
Strangled me,
Wrapped around my neck.
Lifted me up,
Left me hanging,
Made me speechless,
Choking.
I had no defense,
No armour,
Nothing.
Piercing, Icy, Hurtful Words,
Is what I get,
Instead of Your Loving.

Tim'05